You • Hello good morning, I am back with some questions trying to navigate some things. Early this year i sacrificed a lot of things in my life for the sake of prod release which involved staying late, sometimes in on the office until like 10pm. Most of the time around like 6:45pm, which I understood and assisted in the delivery. I even took a call and sat on my laptop during a family event when I was off for a religious holiday due to an emergency (on Eid). I have not taken a single vacation day to my memory as of yet. There were times i wanted to, but in the past those days were bad due to sensitivity to timeline and product launch requiring my support. I wish to take the 9-1qth of next week off due to 2 separate events i wish to attend that are for my professional development and growth. i received a scholarship to attend one of the events and the ticket originally costs $200 thanks.They went out of their way to ensure I was provided a ticket and I would really like to attend. There's also another event i scheduled for a month in advance overlapping the first event. Anyway, the reason i'm messaging you is because I am wondering if I can choose to take those days off and put my foot down on it. Sacrificing important events in my life has done nothing to benefit me in terms of being rewarded for my efforts and I don't see myself doing that any longer, but I want to remain professional and as ethical as possible and promote fairness without any hard feelings. My supervisor needs me on the days of October 9-12, but i really don't see myself wanting to be there for those days given my personal life timeline and the fact the only time i'm taking days off are to better grow myself professionally. Like i told you, i've been promised words and be dangled with a carrot on a stick and i don't want to wait around in that regard any longer but I also want to make sure i'm walking a straight line in terms of fairness. I'm not mad or being petty, I just really want to go and while i normally would stay back and support the team, I don't find it rewarding for me and I want to put myself first by choosing what will benefit me given that moment. Thomas Kopczynski • so u asked to take 10/9 - 12 off and kulveer said no? You • I feel like I dump alot w/ you so i considered sending u a straight up professional email instead idk what u prefer but here was the draft: Request for Leave from October 9th to 12th for Professional Development Events I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to discuss a concern and seek your guidance regarding a leave request for the dates of October 9th to 12th, which I wish to take off for attending two separate professional development events. One of these events has generously awarded me a scholarship for attendance, which I am truly honored and excited about. Throughout the year, I have been fully committed to our projects, often extending my work hours to meet deadlines and ensure the successful delivery of our product releases. To my recollection, I have not utilized any vacation days so far. While I am dedicated to our team and the success of our projects, I also recognize the importance of continuous learning and professional growth. The events I wish to attend are critical for my professional development and represent a unique opportunity for learning and networking. I had communicated my intent to my supervisor, but unfortunately, it was not approved due to project requirements during those dates. I am reaching out to seek your advice on how I might navigate this situation. I am willing to ensure that all my responsibilities are covered during my absence and am open to discussing alternative solutions that might address the concerns of all parties involved. I greatly value your insight and appreciate your time in addressing my concern. Looking forward to discussing this further at your earliest convenience. Thank you. Warm regards, Daiyaan Ijaz Thomas Kopczynski • ok i need some time to digest this give me an hr or 2 ina call You • No rush at all and yeah ik it was a lot Half the time we debug it’s because my advice is ignored Yeah but that happened all year The times I did want off or had plans with my family, gf, or friends etc I couldnt Thomas Kopczynski • hold up You • Bro doesn’t even listen to my advice Annoying asf Thomas Kopczynski • did he tell u 'no' for 10/9 - 10/12? I told him the purpose of the tool and when to use it every time Thomas Kopczynski • hooooold up lol answer my question did he tell u no? when u requested? You • From what I understand In the past my gf would be over post work waiting For hours Really rocked my social life too Ex* lmaooo Thomas Kopczynski • ok, so tell him you are unavailable for the launch you have an event and need the time You • So I can take 9-12 off? Thomas Kopczynski • well, here's the thing…that's next week so its short notice BUT i would push harder on him ugh its a balance cause u dont want to upset him for promo but he should be able to plan around you You • It’s okay I checked out of promo I don’t agree with the system here No worries about promo Thomas Kopczynski • it is a worry for me You • I’d rather be happy Than sacrifice my thoughts Ik but it’s okay Thomas Kopczynski • ok You • I just wanna know if I can get Thomas Kopczynski • so i would do it this way You • 9-12 off really Thomas Kopczynski • send an out of office notice for those days You • I don’t mind the promo thing anymore Thomas Kopczynski • and then send kulveer a msg tell him you have to take the time you have personal obligations that cant be moved and then tell him whatever is needed for launch u will prepare ahead of the 9th and put it on him to give u what he needs if all he is after is a warm body to sit, its not gonna be u during that timeframe cause u will be out. and he can have someone else help w that You • No cap I’m not a warm body He had me sit as a warm body in front of contractors after work hours To represent ford employees etc Thomas Kopczynski • that is not good management, in my opinion i dont know his reasons or circumstance but that doesnt seem effective to me You • Dude someone messaged me when I had family obligations “Either your family or your career, your choice” Desensitized here man Thomas Kopczynski • noooooooo no no no that is not how it is here u have a bad circumstance when you get into a good space, you will have a diff experience dude i always let my ppl take what they need ppl have lives You • Going into it I already got finessed negotiating Thomas Kopczynski • code is not the be all end all You • Proving myself within ford turned futile Restarting is wasted time plus building up from The lower level I started It’s all oky I’m over it it’s fine I really appreciate it man I’m going to take your advice and email him Thomas Kopczynski • cc me if u need You • I need to start setting boundaries it’s hard I guess that’s my weakness Thomas Kopczynski • u do You • Would you look at that They started using my tool an were able to independently troubleshoot Shocker Thomas Kopczynski • lol You • Sent the OOO and messaged him this on Webex My planned leave from October 9th to 12th due to personal obligations cannot be rescheduled. I understand the importance of the upcoming product launch and am committed to ensuring that all tasks and responsibilities under my purview are thoroughly prepared and handed over before my leave. To ensure a seamless operation during my absence, I am willing to prioritize and expedite any necessary tasks that are critical for the launch. I would appreciate it if you could provide me with a list of priorities and expectations before my leave, so I can adequately prepare and handover. Furthermore, I am open to setting up a contingency plan, including being available for any critical communications if absolutely necessary during my leave. I am looking forward to your guidance and support in managing this leave period while ensuring the success of our project. Please let me know if there's any additional information or preparations you would need from me to facilitate this process. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. I am eager to address any concerns and ensure that all preparations are made to your satisfaction. I prepared it like i work for HR lmaooo yooo kulveer seems focused but idk he doesnt sound usual i feel bad hopefully what i share doesnt go to anyone or affect his career in any way im young and ngl got mobility in life Thomas Kopczynski • what are u sharing and to whom You • only u Thomas Kopczynski • ahh You • literally justu u* Thomas Kopczynski • nope, i dont talk to anyone abou tit You • oh i did also tell jeff i dont wanna work with vivek on v2 but thats it cuz vivek pulled up a few days ago and confused the team and then during meeting the updated diagram was wrong Thomas Kopczynski • did they agree to yur time off? You • because we butted heads lmaooo kulveer didnt respond but he read it and i brought up a security exploit i found and it was ignored Thomas Kopczynski • lol You • but then i went to another senior backend dev and she backed me up so during that call today with kulveer he mentioned i wont be here next week so he acknowledged in that sense but yeah man no like i dont want anyones career affected i honestly feel bad he ended up w me im not traditional yes man or what he is used to as an incoming fcg and thats no disrespect idk his voice made me sad lmaoo i was just wondering if what i share affects anything. hes a good guy really this is just politics i understand how it is no hard feelings to heart he taught me stuff that was irrelevant to the job too like for no reason and has suggested books stuff like survivorship bias and he kept it 100% on what he thought on things which i respect even if i butt heads and disagree he doesnt ppl please and thats what i really think is great in a leader he also maintains composure while dealing with me lmaooo but yeah i digress Thomas Kopczynski • u will have all types of bosses some u click with, some u dont some good, some bad it's the way of the world You • yessir thats just how it goes i hope what i share doesnt affect anyones career cuz real life is real life and ppl got families, lives, lifestyles to support etc i dont want to jeopardize anyones career like if things were really serious i would leave or wait it out idk it just feels better to share it yk like if i failed or something, i can just go back to live with my parents temporarily they want me back home anyway lmaooo what im trying to say is like i complain and crap but realistically im also very grateful man and i have security with or without ford like i dont wanna affect kulveer or anyone i shared career wise or hurt but u said u didnt share anything so its probably irrelevant Thomas Kopczynski • u just feeling the things its natural but its a big ecosystem and we have limited views/knowledge. he could be getting hit on totally other stuff and its affected his mood, etc u never know i could make trouble for him if i felt warranted, but there is no reason. you are doing well, he does really like you and you will be out in a couple months so there is no reason. u will forget this whole team soon enough u will look back as yea that one year i had a bad experience and it will be a blip all of ford is not like that